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August 8th, 2006 9:27 pm
[
]

agentkang
everybody should go join the firefly_lims because firefly kicks ass!
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July 29th, 2006 11:27 pm
Revival? [
]

siyui
This place seems kinda dead huh?

I told stevo i'd write here though, so I will.

I'm understanding a lot more things. In the process of doing so I'm also confusing myself.

Hurrah.

I'm giving myself a migraine. So I've decided to support a child on PlanUSA under my own name. However, I still need you guys to help me. Because unfortunately, i cannot conjure money out of thin air. And that's what I decided I want to dedicate QuidFeet to.

So if you guys want to support me supporting a child (haha), trod on over the quidfeet.livejournal.com and make a purchase?

My head is going to essplode. T-T
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July 9th, 2006 5:49 pm
LiNK [
]

agentkang
Hello everybody! My friends and I are attempting to put together an eMag named LiNK. We're hoping that it will develope into a collection of well written articles and comics by teenagers about issues/interests specific to our age group.

So far we have writers for a music review column, an interview of a local teenager, a food column, a ranodm creative writing piece, a technology column, a fashion column and a cartoonist.

You can take a look at the cover for the first issue here.

If you're interested in participating as a regular staff member or perhaps just sending in random pieces to be featured in our guest section, please contact me at my livejournal or aim: s3y0ung.

Thanks for your time :D
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July 5th, 2006 11:10 pm
I found it [
]

siyui
I found it I found it I found it I found it I found it I found it I found it.

I REALLY think i've found it.

I think i'm kinda crazy too.

But but...

=)

XD

=DDDDDD


I'm so out of it. XDDD
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July 5th, 2006 4:28 pm
[
]

agentkang
All too often it feels as if the world is against you. It feels like everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong and there is no choice but to fuck it up again and again and again. This is what we call life. Some people react in anger, they scream and shout, they break things and they hurt others. But really, they're just mad at themselves for not being able to make things right, for not being in control of their lives, for not living up to their expectations. Some people react by wallowing in their grief. They cry, they look for somebody that will understand but reject everybody since nobody can feel EXACTLY what they're feeling at the moment. They hurt themselves because life hasn't lived up their expectations. I used to be angry and I used to be sad. Nowdays I just sit and wait it out. I think about the anger I think about the sadness. I silently cry to myself. Then eventually, it passes. It passes and I'm left empty. Empty of hope and happiness but also empty of the anger and the grief. All that's left is a silent recognition that this is life that this will happen again and again. This is all there is and refusing to accept it will only prolong your suffering. The only consolation is that we're united in our lack of purpose, lack of direction. I know that other people go through what I go through because we communicate. The existentialists believe it is impossible for people to really communicate through words. I know better. I know that it is the words of others (written or spoken or sung) that keep me afloat in our separated unity. We are all individual, we feel unique pain and there is nobody that will ever know exactly how you feel. But we all feel pain. We all share in the emptyness. And that's what connects us together.
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July 1st, 2006 6:10 pm
=) [
]

siyui
One more day. Teeheehee.

I should stop broadcasting now. It's never the best day anyways. But... i think i should be happy.

=)

It's becoming a constant on and off thing, some days I'm very aware of it and other days I can just ignore it because i can preoccupy myself with mindless menial labor. Sometimes I wonder if it's ever going to go away.

Sometimes I think I don't allow myself into seemingly panacea-esque things, like love, religion, God, because i want to leave some hope for myself. It's kinda ironic, like I'm pushing away possible cures because i'm afraid they can't cure me, and I would actually have to face that i'm beyond saving.

How can a lose-lose situation seem so good?
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June 28th, 2006 11:13 pm
Heya [
]

siyui
I've told someone this before:

The important thing isn't to win; the important this is never to lose.

I haven't lost yet.

Not just yet.

=)
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June 25th, 2006 1:20 am
Mn. [
]

siyui
I told everything.
Now i feel horrible.

My turtle has beautiful eyes. It's so black. It's the blackest black i've ever seen, and there's that beautiful tiny glint of light that's usually there. I love my turtle. It's wonderful. =D

Internship is awesome. Dinoquest is the epitome of awesomeness. You guys should all go. I'd sell my soul for another week as counselor there. They let me keep shark safari also. Hurrah! I'm sick of playing telemarketor, but other than that, it's been pretty cool. Especially working with the people I do, Bryant(frenchie), Sheila, Steph, and Jeff, every day is awesome and hilarious and fun. They rock so much. =) So huttah to internship. Huttah to liquid nitrogen ice cream, huttah to making pizza and playing with little kids and hanging out with cool people.

Is it horrible to fall in love?
How do you know if you should pull yourself out?

We're all idiots.
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June 25th, 2006 12:39 am
[
]

agentkang
i feel like time is precious grains of sand thats just slipping thru my fingers. and that im sitting around wasting time doing nothing of importance.

i miss being carefree.

apparently my dream means that i want/have masculinity, im lacking love, my heart and mind are separated.

basically: im a heartless bastard.

i feel blind.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as dumb as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right

Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

His magical myth
As strong as with I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He’s soft to the touch
But afraid at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still leaves more than I can take
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

i feel like the guy in this song. like im never enough/always too much for other ppl.
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June 20th, 2006 10:50 pm
Answer [
]

lady_cristo
[ mood | tired ]

Ok i think i worked out my own answer to my quesiton about love. It was while i was talking to one of my friends who, recently, ironically, asked me the very same question. As i was speaking to her i realized that in the end love is really more like an understanding. "Love" in itself is just a word to define something. If two people define love the same way and fulfill this definition for each other then they are in love with each other. It doesn't matter if this love is not capital L Love it just has to be the same for both of them.
You can define love yourself. Why not, its just a word. I've asked people before about love and some have given me very specific definitions that i don't agree with at all. But if i were ever to date one of them and they told me they loved me and I knew their definition and felt the same way why not say it back. Whatever they're feeling is what they consider love. I can consider that love too. After all, who are we to decide they're wrong?

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June 20th, 2006 7:56 pm
*breathe* [
]

siyui
Internship is cruising along prettily.

If I met Darl, I would give him a big hug. He needs a big hug. I heart Darl. Poor thing. =(

I want rollerskates. =)

My art muse is scritchy-scratching. I've been working wood lately, it's fun, but i haven't the patience. XD So i have a feeling it might take me all summer. Am also planning to start an art journal. Maybe draw more quidfeet and snowmen merchandise.

*sigh*

I think i'm happy.

Or just feeling a little empty.

Why can't we be perpetually satisfied?
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June 17th, 2006 11:56 pm
We're old [
]

lady_cristo
[ mood | depressed ]

You know I just realized today that this is probably the last summer we have to hang out with high school friends. We're going off to college next year. COLLEGE. My mind still can't fully grasp the concept. Where did three years go? If three years felt so short what's this final year going to feel like? So many things have changed since freshmen year and so many things have stayed the same. When we leave will our times in high school even make a dent in our big picture? Ten years from now will we even remember our high school years? What seems so important to us now will probably not even register as we think back in the future. Isn't that scary to think about? We're getting old. This is it you guys. Our last summer. Our last year... I guess it had to come sooner or later.

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June 14th, 2006 11:14 pm
Where's everyone else? [
]

siyui
I bribed my way into an A in french. Actually, i didn't, but it's more fun to say I did.
So i have a def A in 3 of my classes.
I'm hoping for a miracle in my last three.
*crosses fingers*

I haven't thought for the sake of thinking in so long, the feeling is almost foreign.
But thinking is something I really really need to do right now, before I completely fail at life.
Oh boy.
I'm so close too. XD
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June 12th, 2006 10:24 pm
Eurgh! [
]

siyui
To answer Candy's question. Love, to me, is a brief moment of time in which we lose our minds in a state of delirious happiness and manage to convince ourselves, and believe, that everything is and will be okay. Lust, on the other hand, is the want to sex someone up very very badly. I'm being extreme here, i know. Both are hassles. At least the second one is explanable by human nature, Mr.Freud and whatnot, the former, though, is probably a form of severe idiocy that we would beat ourselves up over should we realize the craziness of it all. One can induce the other, one can be mistaken as the other. Other than that, i don't know what else to say. XD

3 more days! Hallelujah!

Math final was pretty okay. I think. At least I hope I am correct in thinking it was okay. Or else, you know.... ehehehe. -.-

Waffle party at Hinman's on Thursday, remind me to bring a gallon of orange juice. Marathon run for Pomp and Circumstance tomorrow. Oh boy.

Either I'm extremely tired of this situation, or I'm getting close to the more emotional cycle. Suddenly I just let everything go and am okay with everything in the sense of saying: Life, take your best shot, I don't care anymore because I'm goddamn tired. I just want things to be okay again. I'm not much for conflict or even displeasure. I just miss how it used to be when things weren't messy.

I'm just going to pick a stuffed animal and curl up into fetal position for a while. Maybe knock myself out while I'm at it. So that maybe when I wake up again, something will be okay.

Right. I'll just go and do just that.

Peace, y'a;;. =D
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June 11th, 2006 11:05 pm
Love [
]

lady_cristo
[ mood | Modernistic ]

Question of the day... what is love? A completely cliche and overused question. But honestly, have any of you actually ever gotten an answer for it?
What's the difference between love and lust? Or love and that nice feeling of like you have for your friends? Is love just a combination of the friendly feeling and lust? If so, wouldn't we technically "love" every hot friend we come across? And if love just comes that easily someone has to tell me now cuz I've been waiting for something pretty amazing and I don't feel like being overly disappointed.
Really I'm not pessimistic. I believe in love completely. I just can't figure out how it works. If you tell someone "I love you" how do you know they are thinking about love the same way you are? And if they say "I love you too" how do you know what their concept of love is? Are we suppose to have some magical revelation? Just know? Is this some secret level of understanding I have yet to experience?
I feel like I'm at church again. Waiting for that special "I am saved" feeling to come. Never quite sure if this was it. If it's just what it is right now. Nothing special. No change of heart. No bright lights and angel voices. Just this. Is that what love is? Just this?

("this" is of course figurative)

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June 8th, 2006 7:28 pm
=D [
]

siyui
I agree with what Se said. Battle Royale cast = flippin awesome.

Life, why aren't you over yet?
GRAHHHHH.

Hole in the ground, WHERE ARE YOU?
I need you so. =(


I hate how messy things seem to be right now. Inevitable, I guess. No one ever said it was supposed to be easy.

I need a break from life. It's too long. =((
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June 8th, 2006 4:56 pm
[
]

agentkang
Please God. Just SOMEHOW get me cast into the American Battle Royale remake. It would be the best thing ever.
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June 8th, 2006 11:49 am
[
]

hannu_bananu
[ mood | Can't much say anymore. ]

Hey hey.

I'm in Castillo's office right now. Watwah.

Art is lame right now cause I have nothing to do... and Coach Thomas was like "Oh we ain't doing shit so go do whatever." The only class I like and now there isn't anythign to do in it. Lames.

It was really weird the other day.

Like all the sudden I had this blast of depression. I was sitting on the computer talking to people and then *bam* I just didn't feel like doing anything. My stomach felt sick and I just wandered off to my room. Even when I woke up, I had that gross feeling again. Like a mental sickness that had manifested itself physically.

I mean, this isn't totally uncalled for cause everything is going on right now. But still. I don't want to fall back into that cycle again.

I can't stand it. It's so frustrating. Maybe I just need summer. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that I need summer. Summer won't fix anything I know that. But maybe just alone time. Some down time. Some lazy time.

Of course I'm gonna try and loose weight this summer. So I'll just run. Forever. Hah.


I've checked out of school. I don't care much anymore. Well, at least that's what I tell myself.


//FiN - HAnnU

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June 7th, 2006 10:42 pm
Spiffy. [
]

siyui
I like how this is turning out although I have no idea where this is going. The end of the school year is hell on wheels. It needs to be speared and stabbed and served sunny side up with bacon bits and honey. Mmm, honey. So I'm almost completely dead from school. It's so flippin painful that it's getting me all emo. It's much more productive to sleep than be emo though, at least it doesn't require a lot of makeup.

I can never get the day right, either. Conversation always start with me asking for the day and anticipating something completely different, usually earlier, and then being told and realizing that I had lost another day or two (or three or four?)

So what day is today?

-Jazzy
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June 7th, 2006 10:18 pm
n00b [
]

lady_cristo
[ mood | wow there are a lot of moods ]

Yea... I've never actually had an lj before. Or followed one. Or had any contact with one in any way, but I guess there's a first for everything. I don't actually even know if im posting in the right place >.< Well I don't exactly have anything profound to write at the moment and we never really came up with a theme so I'm just gonna leave it at this and let someone else start with the intellectual posting this was made for.

o and while I'm at it, I'm not sure how lj works but if it for some reason informs anyone who cares that I now have a lj of my own... thats a lie

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